And yet
by Wolflover007
Summary: Reflections of death and hatred on a "happy" day...bad summary. please give it a shot, experimental.


She knelt and cried at the sight. Ran her hand over the cold stone. The smoothness strange under her rough hands. The name etched into it had become illegible over the years. Despite being in the center of the field, trash and brush covered the monument almost disrespectfully. As she traced out each letter, scalpels laced with guilt cut into her heart. She hated their fights. The verbal and physical. Her words laced with venom, the others' fists filled with anger. When these two collided they threatened to sear everyone in the area. Ticking time bombs is what they were and the slightest match would explode their mutual hatred of each other. Too often her smart mouth resulted in black eyes and bruises. The other one was deceptively strong and knew how to fight; despite their upbringing.

And yet.

As time went by those fists became outstretched. Her words lost their venom. The pair grew closer. Very close despite the differences and trust me there were many differences. Their looks, their upbringing, their temperament. They had similar jobs. That was about it.

Fists turned to helpful hands, venomous words became pleas of sorrow and forgiveness. They both lost something. Well not really lost but it felt like it.

And yet.

She imagined having this person all those years ago. Loving this person and experiencing life together. The person she got wasn't bad. Not at all. In fact she liked the person, despite the black eyes that person used to give her. She thought that was common though, a little too much rough play.

She loved this person dearly. To the end of days. Their bond while difficult to explain only strengthened over time. The searing blaze of hatred now embers of love, that still occasionally burn up.

And yet.

She still felt that she should mourn. Mourn the person she would never have. The one she would never experience. The one she always dreamt of during those long cold nights. The one she pleaded for when scared in those war zones. The one who she tried to hate, and eventually did.

And yet.

Her hate was unjustified. It wasn't this person's fault. Not ever. And it wasn't her fault. How could it be?

And yet.

This person seemed to understand the hatred she felt. For they themselves also developed a hatred. While her hatred blazed. The others was cold as ice. So in actuality their mutual hatred could never overcome the others. Creating a new substance, one that was neither good nor bad. And from that substance something remarkable was made. She should really thank this person. Despite haven thanked her 1000 times, she still never felt that that was enough. There had to be something more she could do. The other person didn't ask for much, anything really.

And yet…

She was brought out of her train of thought by a hand touching her shoulder. She trembled too scared to move. For several minutes neither moved or spoke, then as she tried to stand the hand on her shoulder shoved her back down. She wanted to see who this was but was too scared to move; to accept this persons curious eyes and so she kept her head down submissively.

Finally after some time the hand released the pressure. The figured kneeled behind her; wrapping its arms around her small waist. An intoxicating scent filled the air, she couldn't quite make it out. Then another scent filled the air. This one she recognized better. She should confront this person; grabbing her like this while she's trying to mourn.

And yet.

"You ok Cally?" The figure said from behind her.

She was both comforted and embarrassed. Comforted as she knew who this was and embarrassed as she blushed at the use of her "pet" name.

"Yes."

"What are you doing here?"

"I..i just felt I should pay my respects." She said softly. "Though it appears others did not." She added noting the trash around the stone.

"Sometimes the name is enough to provoke a response." The figure said. "That name will haunt Boston for years, even decades."

"But He's gone."

"Yes but I'm not." the figure said sadly

"You are nothing like him." She said anger filling her words.

The figure said nothing but held her closer. Despite knowing that she was safe, she still didn't face the figure.

"Well. I still feel I should mourn. I'll never get to know this person. Well. I mean it's you, but..idk." She stumbled her words trying to convey the point.

"Maybe in an alternate world we could have been together when we were younger. And I could have a normal childhood with you."

"This is my first time seeing the grave but why are you here?" She asked the figure.

"I come here every year. On the 7th. To reflect and mourn; just like you are doing now."

"The 7th?" She asked as she looked at the grave and wheels began to turn in her head.

"The 7th...the 7th...the 7th...January...march...May...june...August.."

"It's August 7th!" she squealed gleefully. "And that means.."

She finally turned to face the figure giving the figure a big hug.

"Happy birthday." she said happily.

"Stop that." The figure shoved her off.

"But.."

"I don't celebrate my birthday. Ever." the figure said coldly.

"Why?"

"You've seen what i am. What was brought into this world. The name on that grave." The figure trembled.

"And?" She asked before standing to comfort the figure.

"What do you mean "and"?"

"You are nothing like him. That person.." she pointed at the grave. "Never existed..never breathed..never spoke…never lived"

"But I.."

She closed the distance between them and took the figures hand.

"That person isn't you and you are not him. You shared his name, that's it."

The figure nodded. The two sighed and it was the figures turn to kneel at the grave. The figure traced the letters in the stone. The figure shouldn't be here. It says so on this rock.

Born and died: August 7th 1976.

It was as plain as day. Inscripted into the stone for all to see.

And yet.

Here she was. Living. Breathing. Existing. The duality confused the figure. She was both alive and dead. Here and there. Forgotten and feared. The figure sighed.

She knelt behind the figure and smiled.

"Honestly...I like you better as an Isles anyway." She spoke into the figures ear.

"Really?" the figure asked.

"Besides if you don't celebrate your birthday. How do you celebrate your existence?"

"I celebrate my adoption day."

"Whens that?"

"August 8th."

"Well happy adoption day to you."

"Thanks."

"We'll celebrate your birthday one day, Maura."

Maura looked back and smiled at her. A look of love in her eyes.

"Maybe one day Cailin...Maybe one day."

Maura watched as her sister left. She looked at the grave.

Baby Maura Doyle

Born and died: August 7th 1976

Safe from all earthly harm

"Maybe one day.."

FIN

* * *

A/N: so this was supposed to be uploaded on August 7th to celebrate Maura's birthday but some IRL events caused me to upload it after midnight so it was on the 8th :/

It also came out sweeter that I intended. I wanted it to be more of a reflective piece but I think I did ok.

Happy birthday Maura Isles. :)


End file.
